My Sexual Awakening

When I first discovered about sacred sex & cosmic orgasms through Belzie & Eddie, I asked them: “But how can I have THAT?!!”

Belzie @being.belz smiled at me & whipped out a lil crystal shaped egg, and said: “This!”😁

My brows creased..

“You use this 🥚 inside your vagina, it heals & re-sensitises your orgasm zones and it also strengthens your pelvic floor!” .These words made literally NO sense to me, but I remained curious. I didn’t even know what a pelvic floor was back then. I also secretly thought it sounded really bizzare.

Alas, a tiny, tiny seed was planted.

A while later, I bought my 1st egg from @yonilicious. It remained on my altar and my window sills whilst I travelled for 6 months. I was absolutely TERRIFIED of it, I had about 200%+ resistance to it. I just looked at it & thought: “Meh, maybe one day!”

I didn’t know at that stage, that it was even POSSIBLE to have an empowered relationship with my v:gina. Me & her were not exactly pals.

I reflect now, that it was a total rejection of my feminine body…I carried SO much shame..the type of sxual shame that seeps into your bones.

It’s a difficult terrain to navigate, if there is no one holding your hand & supporting you into vulva self-empowerment, right? Impossible, maybe.

I didn’t finally put my egg in until the night after a San Pedro Ceremony in Ecuador. Back in my room, still absolutely tripping in the medicine – I heard this inner roar: “THIS IS IT!” What a night to choose, eh?

I put it in with slowness, with softness, with CONSENT & so much love.

I had never entered anything into my Yoni with full consent before…

In my psychedellic visions, my Yoni was literally crying with grief. I saw rain droplets fall all around me like I was looking through a 360 window on a rainy day. My Yoni & I cried & cried & cried.

We cried for our entire maternal lineage.

It was the grief stricken sensation of “Where have you BEEN?!”. A big splash of fuck you & a hint of THANK THE GODDESS you’re here!!

After years of shame, disconnection, sexual trauma & loss of my menstruation ~ putting the Yoni egg in was the most compassionate & healing thing I had ever done for my Yoni in my life..

It’s actually bonkers to think that I held space for over 100 people to talk about sex, pleasure, Vagina’s & Venus last week. 5 years ago I would have run for the hills at such an intrepid endeavour.

After years of vagina numbness, dissatisfaction, shame & never a SINGLE internal orgasm.

I used the Tao Tantric practices, the Yoni egg & crystal wand to heal the internal trauma & re-sensitise the numbness from my Yoni. Warning: side effects!

I unlocked my cervical, g-zone, full body, multiple O’s & alllll the good stuff! The penny dropped & I finally felt that vibrant, pulsing, full body pleasure that all the Tantric’s were constantly yabbering on about. I started to fall in love with my body & my Yoni, my heart opened, my body softened & my previous defensive edge simply started melting away.

A philosophy taught in Tantra, is that sexual energy & orgasm will always amplify your deepest shadows & fears. Any prolonged pleasure state is essentially a glorious infusion of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin & even DMT (which is released in cervical Os).

We open ourselves up to the mystery & it requires a deep surrender of control.

Yup. Terrifying. Most of us are absolute control FREAKS.

I was facing:

  • My struggle to fully receive
  • My issue of letting go of control
  • My very distracted, unpresent mind
  • My conditioning of not take up space for my own pleasure in s-x
  • My inability to stay present with the sensations of my body
  • My feeling of distrust & lack of safety with men, especially when I was in a state of vulnerability

Piece by piece, I chipped away at my inner control freak (named Gertrude) with the sexual healing practices.

During those years I didn’t actually interact sexually with anyone else. I focused on being my own lover & healing myself. It was one of the best choices I ever made &, the fast lane to who I am now❤️‍🔥

Then, FINALLY, I allowed in new conscious lovers.

It’s been a slow journey of trust & surrender to the healing of sacred union with men again..

So, THIS is what it feels like to be a woman in her sovereign sexual power…

Once upon a time it felt like a far away concept, a fantasy, a hope, a dream…

So, THIS is what it’s like to reclaim my ancestral womb power, my body sovereignty & speak my most unapologetic truth.

What a blessing. What a paradigm shift…

By lovingly softening my (previously numb) cervix & awakening it’s healing orgasms, it has opened my voice up to the heavens.

The Cervix is directly linked to the throat through the vagus nerve, & I have noticed exponentially just how much I am able to speak UP, OUT & FOR whatever I need when I need it.

I feel that powerful surge of sexual energy move through, cleanse & open my throat chakra.

I can now sing high notes & melodies I could never even dream of before…

For days afterwards, I feel like a vessel of pure expression & it feels MAGNIFICENT.

I am no longer interested in being compliant or submissive.

After so much deep cervix & womb healing, I feel the shift in my bones. It’s beyond palpable. It’s irrevocable.

No wonder this divine power has been censored, conditioned, tortured & demonised out of womankind ~ this EPIC creatrix power between my thighs.

Now I experience the truth that my maternal ancestors were not allowed or able to.

I vow to be the chainbreaker of my maternal lineage. It ends here, right now, with me.

With you, with us.

Sisters. Get to know your magic. Start the work. Buy a Yoni Egg. Start your sacred sexual revolution. Unlock your potential. Erase misogynistic porn from your memory. Reclaim your body sovereignty.

Get to know the beauty of your voluptuous (or non-voluptuous ) vulva. Own it. Worship & love your Yoni on a daily basis. And start saying NO when it’s a no.

You are sacred, sister.

You are worthy of undulating pleasure. You are so worthy of devotion & worship. You are so worthy of being treated like a royal QUEEN.

There is a Sacred Temple in between your thighs, just waiting to be resurrected.

Resurrect… I dare you.

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